The Unfortunate Side Of Love (pt 1)

Have you ever had more than a mouthful of shit to say, yet you can't stop the crickets from sounding off in your head? That's me right now. Welcome to my World.
As a 1st lifer, I can attest to the reality that this human experience of love is the greatest teacher I've ever known. Reviewing 17 years of lovin allows me the ability to truly reflect. I'm accused of insistently makin errors/misjudgements by others. What can I say!? I live with my heart on my sleeve. Which other people tend 2 think is crazy, stupid or both.
My attention to others judgements of me has guided me to create countless unfortunate realities for everyone in my life to live through. Especially in matters of the heart.
Before I became the being I am 2day, I agreed 2 do all the things I'm doing in this waking life. Including birth 2 children by 2 different men. It's March 2018 and still, society puts pressure on women who are in situations like mine. While the fellas get a pat on the back for the existence of the child and a high give for baggin a baddie like me. This blinded, unfair judgement has caused my heart heart to bleed out violently from the very start.
Growing up, I was often surrounded by a lot of drama. Don't forget, my Mom birthed me right after she turned 16. I'm the oldest. My brother is the youngest. Mom birthed him @ 20. Many people looked at my Mom & assumed she was clueless of her own life direction. People become quite over bearing when they see someone they love struggling (product of perception).
I've witnessed countless arguments/ fights between loved ones. Judgements & limitation were passed around like candy. I saw the separation defensiveness caused. That both broke my heart & scared tf outta me. In an effort to protect myself, I learned countless ways of defending my beliefs. I used my Mom as target practice because I blamed her for everything wrong I witnessed. At a very young age, I learned to use my authoritative energy to intimidate bossy people (product of perception).
Being in a state of defensiveness always inspired me to wish for a dream lover to come rescue me. From the age of 8-16, I took my time making my special order for love. I've always communicated w/Source like I communicate with all of you. My dream love had certain characteristics that matched my own. When I met my daughter's Dad, *Elliott. I felt like I won an impossible reality.
Elliott had rich dark skin, like my Mom. He had an undeniable love for children. He was both book & street smart. One of the hardest workers I've ever seen. His best quality has always been the character of his heart.
Society said he was ugly. I disagree. His complexion excited me. Somehow, it made me feel close to my Mom. Everyone that loved me warned me of his games, I listened. However, I was too in love to stand up for myself when he presented unfortunate realities.
We stayed together over 7 yrs. He was the 1st man to pour his soul to me. That made him more beautiful in my eyes. Suddenly, I could forgive his hurtful behavior. He felt safe telling me the horror stories he'd survived.
His greatest emotional traumas were heavily influenced his parents. His Dad taught him he wasn't important & his Mom did what she could to make everything work. Forcing her to become the provider, which prevented them from spending time during his most critical time of accumulating pain as a youth. Also communicating he's not important. As a form of defense, he blamed her for what he couldn't make sense of (product of perception).
This eat to live challenge is my effort at offering healing insight to creatures like Elliott. Join in. It's free! Enjoy this video featuring meat warnings & twerk info
http://bit.ly/2Fpcxqo
March 21st is our 1st Godis Awakening Twerkspirational private affair. Visit our shop and book your tickets today!
Eat To Live Challenge(wk.2 day 5) Conscious Snacks(2 wk. journey)
What we eat we become. Soo many of us eat 3 meals a day & snack 2-4 times a day (generally). This week, let's focus on eating health conscious snacks. Here are this weeks guidelines:
Eat
☑Dried fruit & regular fruits r great! Make sure they have real seeds.
☑ Nuts & nut bars Are you ready to control your own life? Food must be our focus.
☑Gelato instead of ice cream.Gelato is made with more health conscious ingredients. Makin the transition to nice cream smooth an easy.
☑Kettle Chips over Potato Chips
These days, potato chips have some of ThE most dangerous ingredients a human body can consume. Eventually, we need to phase chips out (do you know how most industrialized potatoes are grown!?)
☑Tea and fruit juice (not from concentrate) are essential. Make your teas with spring water so your cells can breath of distilled so your body can detox. Avoid high fructose corn syrup like your life depends on it.
☑ Avoid the foods I didn't mention
☑Drink 64 ounces of spring water daily
☑Share this challenge with everyone you know.
Xtra Credit
Post pictures of your snacks, tagging @TwerkNTone via IG & @Hello My Name Is Angela via FB.
Use #HealChallenge
Our healing journey is beautiful. If you're just beginning allow my silly errors and bought sense to inspire you to your own personal greatness. I believe in you. What do you believe in?
Happ Healin Babes
Love n Lite