How y'all be? I'm riding my wave. My eyes feel like they r both open & closed. When they are closed, I can sense things and I am moving in the flow of my own knowing. When mye eyes are open, I am struggling to align what I feel from what I sense. That's when I feel confused & somewhat lost. However, it feels like I'm living Groundhog Day. Errrday. So, umm, yea... I's tired...
I'm a love centric type of being. I do well with life's tests and either learn a lesson or get a blessin. However, when it comes to love, I tend to turn to silly putty and just ooze everywhere. I was a special kinda oozy mess with my King.
We've been down since 2006. Since our beginning, I've gone above and beyond to commit to the illusion of a perfect relationship. I just wanted to know how perfect love could feel.
My King has always had a big ol beautiful heart. He's biggest gripe is his need to make room for everyone else. His naturally nurturing Virgi ways often results in him forgetting himself. He focuses on the distraction of apeassing others, which results in him resenting everyone. Which is really a reflection of how he feels about himself. I can totally relate, which is how I spot the same behaviour so easily in others. Especially him.
I started off as a healthy distraction for my King. When I got preggers, shit got real. He was serving the creme dela creme of his inner asshole. I had to withstand. I was totally incapable initially. So, I got me what many would call a side piece.
Honestly, I treated them all like a boy toys. Playing the role of their fantasies. Our interaction was more intimate then sexual. But sex totally happened sometimes. I used to feel guilty for allowing another man's energy to fuel my own. I was pretending to be a member of a functional family. Really, I was too scared to commit to a man thatchad yet to commit to me. He married a whole other female & still has yet to divorce her. Even though I saw his day to day obstacles, I also know that we manifest whatever we want to manifest in life. Which would mean he's married to his wife for reasons beyond what he expresses. It was costing me all of my peace to fake love. So I walked away.
I used my King's energy to manifest a lover that could fill my gap. Which threated my King. It don't take a rocket scientist to see that these dudes have mad shit beyond me in common. After a few weeks, my King came back around. He was just a lil less of an asshole than he was in our time apart. Yet, I was elated he showed any interest. So, I'd toss my dips to the side til further notice.
Fast forward 12 yrs. Between the 2 of us, several men & women came & went. Why? Because neither my King nor myself knew how to face ourselves. There are key parts of our childhood we must make peace with before we can find a love we actually deserve.
Last year, I was forced to stop running. For the 1st time in my life, I had to stop worrying about others & learn to focus on myself. I had to learn the true value in not blaming others, especially him, for a reality I manifested. I had to be careful doe. This level of self ownership can attract the biggest narcissist you can ever imagine. Learn about and establishing boundaries allows me to keep the fakes out my land while ascending to my higher self and attracting people that are doing the same for themselves.
These days, when others attempt to get next to me, while blaming me for their life's issues. I lovingly tell them the rules of engagement. Usually in a calm voice. While energetically doin my own work. Whomever I'm meant to stand next to will be there & vice versa. This reality may or may not include my King. I used to feel sad if I didn't see the growth in him I need to see. Now, I release my cares to the angels. While seeing realities that feel good to me.
This week is expected to be another big week for emotions. Thankfully, the galactic stuff (like eclipses & full moons) are settling down. The full moon is on the way. As the moon grows nightly, let's grow with her.
I challenge all of you to channel ur greatest barriers in life, through your inner child. All this week, work on giving that child a voice. Be gentle. Loving. Non judgemental. And pay attention. You are destined to attract majic
I believe in all of your because I believe in myself. Below are some spiritual guides. As you attract your own, be creative. Collect your own angel numbers and YouTube vids. Make notes of your thoughts and email this info to yourself as it comes in. I'm having fun visualizing what this looks like & how many people it heals .
Here's the angel number of the day: http://bit.ly/2nSH9JL
Here's today's playlist. Enjoy: http://bit.ly/2vVEaVa
FB Posts: http://bit.ly/2N8m60s