My High Herstory
I'm from Chicago, IL. Chicago is a very segregated city. You know where you are by noticing who's around you in any given environment. The melanin-rich community dominates both the south side, where my biological Dad is from and the west side, where my Mom was born and raised. She made sure her children had a better upbringing than she did, so my 3 siblings and I were raised on the North side. Like our bonus Dad.
We attended the local elementary school that hardly hired teachers that looked like us. My siblings and I, along with a couple other children were the only "black kids" in the school. Our community was predominately "Hispanic" and "White", so the melanin rich beings stuck out like a sore thumb. I was social and outgoing so I had an enjoyable
childhood experience. Kinda... One of my 2 sisters was a selective talker. She was pretty much a mute because she didn't enjoy the energy she was around. My other sister was surviving racial slurs & other peer to peer abuse and retaliating. But in a very strategic, Virgo kinda way. Our brother is the baby, yet he knew everybody. Everyone literally called us "Aaron sisters". I was concerned for both of my sisters and I didn't trust the company my brother attracted to himself. So I was Always stressed!
I'm the oldest and had been made responsible for my siblings at a very young age. I honored my position and hated it at the same time. I felt like the fill in Mom. Add on the pressure of school teaching me things I never really wanted to learn and penalizing my lack of interest by giving me low grades. I had my work cut out for me. I worked very hard to become the studious student I later became.
I was always looking for something to take the edge off. I started keeping a daily journal back in 3rd grade. I appreciated the outlet writing presented. Because I tend to get crazy when I get mad... I attracted a bunch of empathic/emotional friends and we began sharing truths with one another. Some of them were led to self medicate with alcohol, prescribed drugs, street drugs and sex. The annoyance of my friend's parents not giving them their way was interesting to survive. My friends issues were rooted in much more simple drama than my own, but the point was that we felt pain. I didn't judge them for anything they did. I just knew that stuff wasn't for me.
One afternoon, I was kickin it at a friends house. Her landlord lived in the space below & they had a son. The son invited both me and my friend over and that's when I had my first weed experience. We used foil to make a bong and smoked from there. It was a small, intimate environment, with a small group of kids blowing back some steam, so to speak lol. Although I didn't learn to truly inhale til a few years ago, I noticed how expansive my mind felt off the 1st hit. It felt INCREDIBLE to not give a fuq about anything. I was so akin to takin on other people's bs, I was weighing myself down. I was too busy people pleasing to noticed.
I continued smoking through my teenage years, working tirelessly to keep this shit on the dl. I was very focused on being what everyone wanted me to be. I had the perfect smile, biggest brain, brightest heart. I was the break everyone wished for. As I approached my 20s, all of my friends had babies. I had endometriosis, so doctors have been telling me I will never have babies since I was 12. I held on to that sentence when in my friends & family's presence. I highlighted the single life and worked maaad hard. I stayed with money in my pocket. Money couldn't fill the void of not having a child yet, but it kept me occupied. Plus all my friends had more intense drama than I cared to entertain. However, when I got high, I gave myself permission to see the lil girl I call my daughter today. I was weed that allowed my nerves to relax enough to dream this impossible dream.
My biggest point was to prove to the world that just because you smoke weed does not mean anything is wrong with you. I have achieved some major professional and academic achievements thus far in my life. Still, my grandma waged war against me after learning my secret back in 2016. Since then, she has experienced hemp soap and can't stop raving. She never apologized for the hateful words she said to me. I'm happy she's learning. These days, I'm smoking far more than I used to, just so I can make peace with unfair situations I've attracted overall. Granny has major hangups about weed in general and feels justified behaving the way she has. Weed makes it feasible to cope with this reality.
I know how tough life can be. Especially concerning a child/ren. My own children have been through alot, emotionally, for the last few years. The pressure from absent parent issues, inability to balance, resentment has damn near totally transformed my children. So I give them CBD oil to help the or central nervous system maintain a calm state of existence. They both enjoy the experience. My son requires this treatment daily where my daughter is specific to her mood.
Smoking weed is the best thing I have ever done in my life. I have anger issues. I tend to ignore whatever is pissing me off until I can't anymore. Then I kinda go crazy. Weed allows me to calm down immediately and center myself. I can focus on my breathe, laugh at my behavior and press forward. My babies and I do emo-check ins regularly, however the CBD oil allows for them to calm down within themselves and find their own words of truth to live by.
For the record, I highly suggest weed for all adults and CBD for the children. It's amazing how beautiful life becomes when you shut off all the external noise, so you can pay attention to your own.
Are you a parent that smokes proudly, or do you indulge in private? Why do you do things that way? Have any of you considered giving your children CBD oil? How's the child/ren responding? Did you d research before putting your children on CBD Oil? If so, what resources did you use? What did you learn? Comment below and let a Godis know.
Til next week
Vibrate Higher Tribe
A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes." Mahatma Ghandi