That's How U Feel
Peace Babes. How ya’ll be? Me?
I kinda feel like a headless chicken. Runnin around all over he place, yet in slow motion. However, I’m all good. Long as I have a nice strand of weed to puff on (preferably sativa) and I’m all good.
Mercury entered Pisces on the 10th of February. Allowing for more heart felt, conversations. Actually, on that day, I had some pretty intense conversations with my own family about my employment status.
My parents are over me being as intelligent and educated as I am with no actual job. I can’t remember the way my Mom phrased it, but it had something to do with being paid bi-weekly, benefits, pensions and shit like that. I’m not the type to stay at a job long enough to qualify for those kinda benefits, so as soon as the words leave her mouth, I got defensive and offended. That's that Chiron entering Aries energy, which we discuss in this week's GOD'S PLAN blog.
My aunt came to town for the week to attend Magic. She is a micro business owner and preparing her life to birth a new venture. Her whole trip, she dropped beautiful jewels of wisdom, reminding me of the family I come from. She was a part of this convo. One of the dopest things she said was “You have to accept offense to take offense.” Making logical sense of that statement helped me stop the drama on the spot.
I think… a lot… she's right. I do habe to accept offense to take it. My parents are just looking for me to contribute a little more. Living in this American setup can be a bitch, day to day. I have every intention to contribute, however, I often stress myself beyond comprehension from the stress of perusing my dream. Which is to become a successful entrepreneur. Lack of cashflow has been a recurring issue.
I refuse to do anything my heart is not in. With me knowing so much about so much, I have a tough time making agreements to do work I am morally against. Call me crazy. Still, I have 2 babies to raise and next to nothing to physically show for.
I used to allow this reality to get me down. I knew when I initially began my career as an energy specialist 6 yrs ago, times would get tough. I found an hourly partnership that was in alignment with what I was creating in private, back in 2013. That’s how the partnerships with both the City of Las Vegas and the YMCA happened. After 4 yrs of not only serving my community, but also providing for my personal family while learning more law & learning the ropes of business, I felt burnt out.
People hardly attended my twerk classes once I left Chuck Minker. By 2015, my other classes were beginning to grow. I was teaching about 19 fitness classes a week at this point and I just felt burned out. By August 2016, I packed up my family and we moved back to Miami. Our journey lasted 13 months. During that time, I mastered becoming an urban monk. My dark night of the soul began April, 2017. In all honesty, I’m just now catching my bearings well enough to function daily.
The things I went through were more emotional than physical. I left Miami and came back to Vegas November 1, the same day of the Vegas Strong shootout. Just a couple hours before. That horrific event perfectly describes the emotional state I was in at the time. My family is concerned for my well being because they are used to me being a hard worker. I do simple things, like meditate, teach myself & share my ideas. I believe my family legit thinks I'm nuts. They all work daily to afford their lifestyle. Because of their hard work, I have the ability to continuing to focus on my dreams and manifest them to life. Picture me bawlin hella soon. Right now, I'm on a journey.
2.10.19, I found myself thinking victimizing thoughts of betrayal from my family. Their verbage had me feelin unsupported & I refuse to go back from where I came. Times like this, I can feel that Capricorn South Node energy intense af. Which is assiciated with past lifetimes. That's when I remember to simply be present. I have survived what I been thru. It's ok to move on.
I come from a very successful and educated family. They have created various businesses at one point in their lives. How could they not get it? Why wouldn’t they teach me what they know? Why does this seem so damn hard!?
Suddenly, I gave myself permission to stop thinking and simply focus on my breath. That’s when I realized no one in my family has ever perused what I am manifesting. My family has always shared what they could to help me, in any way I have needed help. Whether they knew the information I sought or not. Perhaps my current focus in life has to do with my life mission. To successfully achieve it, I mustn’t focus on anyone outside of my Higher Self. Otherwise I will be lost. Again..
The energy of Mercury in Pisces inspired me to go outside and still hug my Aunt and wish her a safe flight. In my head, it was about to go down! I verbally brought up feeling alone and was accused of living in the past and I promise I saw red… I happened to be in public. So I simply shut my mouth and focused on my breath instead. That allowed my heart to send the message of unconditional love from my sacred heart. And just like majic, my negative feelings/vibes/energy dissolved. All I wanted to do was express love. So, that’s all I did.
These next 2 months will be kinda crazy like that. Like a super scary roller coaster. We all have free will. Whether your eyes are open or closed, the roller coaster is climbing higher and higher. I give myself permission to remember, I was securely fastened in my seat before the ride started. I will not fall out. I choose to open my eyes, throw up my hands and scream my lungs out while smiling from ear to ear. Impressed that I challenged myself in such a way.
No matter how balanced your energy is, this Mercury in Pisces energy, which will last until 3.5.19, is destined to test you. Now is the time to see what we are made of. Some people struggle during this time. Expect things like arrests, breakups, killings and other forms of despair.
Ladies, remember. We birth life through our womb. They say girls made of sugar, spice and everything nice. If that’s gonna be true, we must heal, clear and balance our lower 3 chakras by making peace with our inner child. Our lower 3 chakras is where fear, shame and guilt live.
My biggest fear is not being able to provide for my children and myself. This fear is related to my root chakra, where fear is sourced. I'm all about remedy, so this week, I’m hustling my ass off. My greatest focus has been my home based travel agent business. I’ve been waking up and goin to bed solely focused on succeeding. I’ve got goals and plans. Stay tuned for my updates.
Below, find the links to all my hustles. From CBD, Cherish feminine hygiene products, travel services and spiritual products, I’m yo pusha. Support. Share. Contribute. Thank you in advance.
Click here for Operation Get Right retirement gala. I’ve enjoyed serving the Valley. I’m ready to journey forward.
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